Tag Archives: Christian

Last Christmas…..with JUST Little Man

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Why is it that Christmas seems like it is a while away and then once it is here you start saying, “I can’t believe it is Christmas already!?”  Well, that is how I feel this week.  I also had the thought of “Wow, this is probably going to be the easiest Christmas I will have for a while too.”  Starting next year I will have double the gift buying, double the hiding and sneaking, double the projects and double the wrapping.  I hope I can handle it, I hope I can try to be the same Mommy to one as I am to two.

I also started thinking that I will have double the excitement, double the cuteness, double the love and joy of sharing such a wonderful time and the Love of Jesus.

So I’m soaking this Christmas in.  By this time next year everything will be such a blur and I will be trying to find my footing with two.  So I’m going to spend extra time with Big and Little…..uh, right after tonight and my last things of to do’s.

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In the dark and didn’t even know it.

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Before knowing God I had no past beliefs except that there was a “higher power”.  Growing up we never talked about God except for one time when I was an early teen around a camp fire it had come up, don’t ask me how, we discussed it and I kind of remember us all coming up to the same conclusion/feeling that there was something of a higher power but what exactly we didn’t know.  I am pretty sure that they were proud of themselves for not “shoving religion down our throats”.  Looking back now I see that they didn’t know the truth or did not know enough themselves so how can they talk about something if they didn’t know what to talk about or how to approach it?  Once I got older and had my own child I could see myself going down the same path and repeating the same cycle.  I did not want to do that.  I did not want to be naive.  I wanted to know what this God thing was all about.  I wanted to come to my own conclusions.  Stop being ignorant and stay in the shadows.  Sad thing was, I didn’t even know I was in the shadows.

I started my walk first with the smallest of baby steps to grow comfortable in the unknown.  I mean I went to church with my Step Grandmother a couple of times but I was a kid.  Once my husband and I decided to go I can remember the feeling of being so nervous the first couple of times walking from the car to the building.  Wondering what others will think or say about you.  Wondering if you are going to say something stupid because you didn’t know how people spoke or spoke about in church.  We went more and more and it took time to feel comfortable hearing the words Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, Christ.  I was hearing more and more of Gods truths through the messages.  I learned right away that I had walls up.  Walls up that I didn’t even know I had.  Walls built out of ignorance and society.  I knew that I had to keep my mind and heart open if I was ever going to learn what this “Christian” thing was all about.  Don’t get me wrong I had help along the way with my husband’s knowledge of growing up going to church, bible studies and friends.

I don’t have a dramatic testimony or an “Ah Hah” moment and I can’t put my finger on one moment like others can when they “found Jesus” or was “born again”.  I’m okay with that now.  At first I felt like I was doing something wrong.  But God knew that I was like a delicate seed and I needed to take my time to get just the right nourishment to grow.  I was slowly taking everything in.  I was drinking from the living water in small amounts so I wouldn’t be over come and washed away.  I was taking my time to grow Fruits of the Holy Spirit.  It was a slow and warming process.  Like when you are up early enough to watch the sunrise.  First you can see the glowing orange over the horizon but it takes a while for the sun to get high enough before the warmth of the sun hits your face and body.  But once it does it feels so good and comforting, peaceful.

I have walked out of the shadows and into the morning-glory of God’s light!

BTW, I have read this and revised it about 100 times.  Putting yourself out there is scary!

Lately

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Okay, so I know I haven’t had a “real” post in a long time.  I feel like I have stuff going on but, it is not enough to have a full post about and if it is do people really care?  So lets see.  Somethings that have been going on….

Well, I started the “One Year Bible” on Jan. 1st.  It is the 11th and I have read everyday so far.  I know that is not a long time but for me it is.   I read something the other day that I have to share.  You know when you read something from the bible and it speaks to you that you just want to shout it out to everyone so they can understand that GOD is awesome and you can find peace with him.  Especially when you know several people are going thru a hard time.

Psalm 9: 9-10

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Big Man and I are also going to be doing a “Paint By Numbers” -2 Class at church.  The first one was great and really helps springboard your walk and relationship with the Lord.  It has been a slow walk for me.  You hear about people becoming Christians and they are so hungry and eager to learn anything and everything and immerse themselves into Gods Word, but for me I am hesitant.  I mean, I’m a believer and a Christian but there is a wall there for some reason.  I don’t see the wall, I don’t know why the wall is there but I know it is there and I’m trying to break thru it and grow as a Christian.  I don’t want to be one of those Christians that has been a believer for 20+ years and still be a “baby” in my walk.

I also went to my first ZUMBA class last night and it was pretty fun.  Pretty hard too because this momma is OUT-OF-SHAPE.  But if you know me well enough you know that Fatty can dance too!  I think this is probably one of the best things that I personally can do because it mentally doesn’t feel like a workout.  I went with two of my best friends and that helped too.  They are going to be my motivation.  I’m one of those people where it is all about getting there.  Once I’m there I will do it and I will enjoy it but it is getting up and getting there when I can be hanging out at the house with Big and Little in a warm house when it is freezing out or can we really afford the cost of it, ect, ect!

Also, Friends, If you don’t have any go get you some, not just any friend either.  The type that feel like family, the ones that even though you saw them yesterday you are excited to see them and at the same time the type that you haven’t seen in a couple of weeks but when you do see each other it was just like yesterday.  They can make the world of difference.  Lately my life has been brighter then ever, not only because of my walk with the Lord but because of the wonderful, inspiring and fun-loving friends that God has surrounded me with.  I don’t know if it is because we have all had more opportunity to spend more time with each other and our friendship has grown or if we all realized how important each other was that we are putting more the effort and want to spend time with each other more.   Either way I can’t imagine my life without them.

See, not enough of one thing for a full post and probably nothing that people really care about in the first place.  Either way it is out there and I feel better!

Love ya,

Sonja B.