Tag Archives: Jesus

In the dark and didn’t even know it.


Before knowing God I had no past beliefs except that there was a “higher power”.  Growing up we never talked about God except for one time when I was an early teen around a camp fire it had come up, don’t ask me how, we discussed it and I kind of remember us all coming up to the same conclusion/feeling that there was something of a higher power but what exactly we didn’t know.  I am pretty sure that they were proud of themselves for not “shoving religion down our throats”.  Looking back now I see that they didn’t know the truth or did not know enough themselves so how can they talk about something if they didn’t know what to talk about or how to approach it?  Once I got older and had my own child I could see myself going down the same path and repeating the same cycle.  I did not want to do that.  I did not want to be naive.  I wanted to know what this God thing was all about.  I wanted to come to my own conclusions.  Stop being ignorant and stay in the shadows.  Sad thing was, I didn’t even know I was in the shadows.

I started my walk first with the smallest of baby steps to grow comfortable in the unknown.  I mean I went to church with my Step Grandmother a couple of times but I was a kid.  Once my husband and I decided to go I can remember the feeling of being so nervous the first couple of times walking from the car to the building.  Wondering what others will think or say about you.  Wondering if you are going to say something stupid because you didn’t know how people spoke or spoke about in church.  We went more and more and it took time to feel comfortable hearing the words Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, Christ.  I was hearing more and more of Gods truths through the messages.  I learned right away that I had walls up.  Walls up that I didn’t even know I had.  Walls built out of ignorance and society.  I knew that I had to keep my mind and heart open if I was ever going to learn what this “Christian” thing was all about.  Don’t get me wrong I had help along the way with my husband’s knowledge of growing up going to church, bible studies and friends.

I don’t have a dramatic testimony or an “Ah Hah” moment and I can’t put my finger on one moment like others can when they “found Jesus” or was “born again”.  I’m okay with that now.  At first I felt like I was doing something wrong.  But God knew that I was like a delicate seed and I needed to take my time to get just the right nourishment to grow.  I was slowly taking everything in.  I was drinking from the living water in small amounts so I wouldn’t be over come and washed away.  I was taking my time to grow Fruits of the Holy Spirit.  It was a slow and warming process.  Like when you are up early enough to watch the sunrise.  First you can see the glowing orange over the horizon but it takes a while for the sun to get high enough before the warmth of the sun hits your face and body.  But once it does it feels so good and comforting, peaceful.

I have walked out of the shadows and into the morning-glory of God’s light!

BTW, I have read this and revised it about 100 times.  Putting yourself out there is scary!



Okay, so I know I haven’t had a “real” post in a long time.  I feel like I have stuff going on but, it is not enough to have a full post about and if it is do people really care?  So lets see.  Somethings that have been going on….

Well, I started the “One Year Bible” on Jan. 1st.  It is the 11th and I have read everyday so far.  I know that is not a long time but for me it is.   I read something the other day that I have to share.  You know when you read something from the bible and it speaks to you that you just want to shout it out to everyone so they can understand that GOD is awesome and you can find peace with him.  Especially when you know several people are going thru a hard time.

Psalm 9: 9-10

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Big Man and I are also going to be doing a “Paint By Numbers” -2 Class at church.  The first one was great and really helps springboard your walk and relationship with the Lord.  It has been a slow walk for me.  You hear about people becoming Christians and they are so hungry and eager to learn anything and everything and immerse themselves into Gods Word, but for me I am hesitant.  I mean, I’m a believer and a Christian but there is a wall there for some reason.  I don’t see the wall, I don’t know why the wall is there but I know it is there and I’m trying to break thru it and grow as a Christian.  I don’t want to be one of those Christians that has been a believer for 20+ years and still be a “baby” in my walk.

I also went to my first ZUMBA class last night and it was pretty fun.  Pretty hard too because this momma is OUT-OF-SHAPE.  But if you know me well enough you know that Fatty can dance too!  I think this is probably one of the best things that I personally can do because it mentally doesn’t feel like a workout.  I went with two of my best friends and that helped too.  They are going to be my motivation.  I’m one of those people where it is all about getting there.  Once I’m there I will do it and I will enjoy it but it is getting up and getting there when I can be hanging out at the house with Big and Little in a warm house when it is freezing out or can we really afford the cost of it, ect, ect!

Also, Friends, If you don’t have any go get you some, not just any friend either.  The type that feel like family, the ones that even though you saw them yesterday you are excited to see them and at the same time the type that you haven’t seen in a couple of weeks but when you do see each other it was just like yesterday.  They can make the world of difference.  Lately my life has been brighter then ever, not only because of my walk with the Lord but because of the wonderful, inspiring and fun-loving friends that God has surrounded me with.  I don’t know if it is because we have all had more opportunity to spend more time with each other and our friendship has grown or if we all realized how important each other was that we are putting more the effort and want to spend time with each other more.   Either way I can’t imagine my life without them.

See, not enough of one thing for a full post and probably nothing that people really care about in the first place.  Either way it is out there and I feel better!

Love ya,

Sonja B.

December so far


I know I have not posted much lately and I’m sorry.  I wasn’t sure how consistent I could be with this.  Our December and Christmas Season so far has been wonderful!  We feel so blessed! Earlier this month we had a Second Family Christmas.  You know those people you consider family, your second family!  We were so excited to host a night for our friends to relax, eat, drink, and be merry!  And to Celebrate such a wonderful holiday!  I will say more about this later.  We made the house so festive with lights and decorations and had a fancy table settings, normally we are not “fancy” people.  Here are some pictures…

While waiting for the guest to arrive I looked out the window and it was such a pretty sunset that I had to take a picture!


The pictures don’t do it justice.  The main lights were off and we just had the lights from the tree, the garland

and all the candle light, it was beautiful.

After dinner and some chill time we opened presents but before that we (Aunt Momo) read Christmas books to the kids.


We then let the kids decorate cookies, I can’t believe we didn’t take any pictures.  I think we were too busy helping to stop and take pictures.

And last but not least here is a picture of me and the girls.  I love these ladies and the friendship we each have.  Y’all are all very special to me!

I just realized that we have a red-head, and brunette and a blond, sounds like a bad joke starting, right?  You might look at the picture and see two brunettes but if you knew her enough you would know that she is one of those that is ever-changing and you don’t know what she will do next.  Love you Mon.

Big Man, Little Man and myself have done some Christmas stuff too and have been trying to get some “Family Traditions” going.  We have gone to Grapevine Main Street and walked around, Little and I went to Bass Pro Shop one day and enjoyed all the fun and games they have going on there.  Little does not want to sit and take a picture with Santa and I’m okay with that.  We drove around and looked at Christmas lights, that was a big thing for Big Man b/c he did that as a kid.  We baked Cookies, I will post those later.  Nothing to big and exciting but we don’t need that.  We have been enjoying our time with each other and the fact that we were able to take care of most things earlier on, that we are not in a rush with stress to get things done and bought for.  I am looking forward to Christmas Eve Service at Church even though I have a feeling it is going to be very laid back and not have the symbolism and heaviness that I might be looking for this year.  This is our first Christmas with TCOC, The Church of Corinth, and we are not sure what to expect.

Our family is really trying to focus on the real reason for the season if you will, Jesus!  We are trying to explain to our Little Man what the day is and why we celebrate and still have Santa at the same time.  I know some Christians these days don’t have “Santa” but I remember being so EXCITED as a little girl on Christmas Morning that Santa had been to our house and left me presents.  So we are telling Liam that Santa brings presents to the children to celebrate Jesus’ Birthday because Jesus is a present from God for us.  He is starting to retain and knows that it is Jesus’ Birthday.  But he is so excited (about the presents he knows he will get) and it is such a JOY to see his face when he talks about it and I can’t wait until Christmas Morning!  I hope that everyone, if anyone is still reading at this point has a very blessed and wonderful Christmas!

Love,   Sonja B